{"id":53,"date":"2007-12-05T14:57:06","date_gmt":"2007-12-05T20:57:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jeffhottinger.com\/blog\/?p=53"},"modified":"2007-12-05T14:57:06","modified_gmt":"2007-12-05T20:57:06","slug":"majored-in-talking-shit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jeffhottinger.com\/blog\/2007\/12\/majored-in-talking-shit\/","title":{"rendered":"I Majored in Talking Shit"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Evil<\/p>\n

Every feel like saying this?<\/p>\n

“Don’t say another Goddamn word. Up until now, I’ve been polite. If you say anything<\/strong> else – word one<\/strong> – I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this fear engine<\/strong> will bore a hole between this world and that one.<\/p>\n

When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming – as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of nothing<\/strong> will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark work will begin.<\/p>\n

I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth. “<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I know, hilarious right? Stolen from Penny-Arcade!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every feel like saying this? “Don’t say another Goddamn word. Up until now, I’ve been polite. If you say anything else – word one – I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-53","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-entertainment","category-the-net"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeffhottinger.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeffhottinger.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeffhottinger.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeffhottinger.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeffhottinger.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=53"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jeffhottinger.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeffhottinger.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=53"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeffhottinger.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=53"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeffhottinger.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=53"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}